Jesus, Mary, and Joseph: The Real Story?

So, if Jesus had a penis (see prior post here), then Mary had a vagina, right? Well, of course. And Joseph had a penis, too.

Jesus may have been the result of immaculate conception, but surely his birth was like every other human birth–Mary carrying him for nine months to term (remember her visit to Elizabeth?), then her water breaking, and the contractions beginning, and her having to push and push and push. Apparently, he was her first child, so it was a lot of work (births after the first one are often far easier for the mother).

Mary, Jesus. and Joseph, in modern incarnation jesusisnotalone blogspot com

I don’t know the custom of that time, but I hope Joseph was there (while doubting it was permitted), encouraging her. Three of the absolutely most precious and wondrous times in my life were being present with my wife, Judy, at the births of our three daughters, holding her hand, giving her encouragement, hearing the first squalls from the newborn, and being able to wipe Judy’s sweaty brow and give her a kiss of the deepest gratitude and joy. I hope Joseph did not miss that.

Actually, I hope he did not miss the impregnation either. I know, I know. It was the Holy Spirit. But I have my doubts. In fact, I don’t believe he did miss it. I think Jesus was conceived in the usual way.

St. Paul's Brookline stpaulsbrookline org

I remember when, as a first-year seminarian in 1981 working in my field education parish, St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Brookline, MA, the rector assigned me to meet with the weekly Women’s Bible Study. I began in Advent. As we finished what was my first meeting with them, I announced that the following week we would study Luke 1:26-38 (click here to read the text).

“Oh no,” said Elizabeth, a an older woman from England, “We don’t have to believe in the Virgin Birth, do we?” All eyes turned to me, the new guy (and the only man in the room), and as I took a deep breath, I said, “No you don’t. There are no litmus tests here.”

All during the week, I felt anxious about our next meeting. I chose not to tell the rector, feeling a bit like Joseph taking Mary and Jesus to Egypt to avoid trouble from Herod. That made me nervous, too.

giving birth pushing-lying-down  evidencebasedbirth com

During the actual discussion, these women, many of whom had given birth and all of whom were either married or engaged to men, were remarkably open in their story-telling and their hope that Jesus was conceived in the usual way. Frankly, I had never dared speak of my doubts until that night, and I kept much of it to myself–my job being to facilitate their exploration–but I felt sure they were right.

Over the years since, I have become convinced that the virgin birth was invented by the story-tellers and gospel writers of long ago. I don’t doubt it could have happened, and still could happen in another situation–all things are possible with God–but I have three reasons for thinking it did not in this case.

First, the God I know, from the biblical record, as well as my own life, chooses ordinary human beings and ordinary human situations through which to manifest the divine desire for wholeness in the world. I believe Joseph and Mary were, in this instance, the ordinary human vehicles God chose.

young_couple_having_passionate_sex_3-4_tmb anybunny com

Second, I think they had sexual intercourse that led to the birth of Jesus before they were married. It is entirely in keeping with the biblical record that God would select the child born out of wedlock to carry the mantle of Messiah.  In fact, to do otherwise really runs counter to that record. But the disciples, and probably Mary and Joseph, and others, worried that the wider world would be scandalized by an illegitimate child being the Messiah. So they changed the story (biblical texts are filled with these “edits” by scribes and others).

Third, I surely believe Jesus was the son of God, but then I think each of us is a child of God. Jesus did not have to be born through impregnation of Mary by the Holy Spirit to become the Messiah–he did have to choose to use the gifts God gave him to be so but then God gives us similar gifts, too. The thing is, Jesus made the choice, and did not change his mind.

Children of God bobjones org

There is a bit of the divine in each human being, and that holiness is passed on from God through our parents. Conception, the mating of a female egg and male sperm, is a moment of divinity in the body of the mother–a moment that is the continuation of the holy union of penis and vagina, followed by continued lovemaking, ejaculation by the male, and receiving of the semen by the female (as well as her own natural lubrication).

Now, I can hear abortion opponents saying, “See, abortion is the murder of one of God’s children.” I do not share that view. There are times when this union is not holy, certainly in the case of rape and incest. But even in the absence of those horrors, God gives us free will to choose how we will live with the gifts of God. Many women, for all sorts of reasons, choose to refuse the gift.

magnificat elobservadorenlinea com

Mary chose to keep this gift and nurture Jesus. Indeed, what we call the Magnificat (Luke 1:46-55) could be her response to the birth of Jesus even though the writer of Luke has placed it with her meeting with Elizabeth (and it is a wonderful hymn of gratitude for the gift, wherever it is placed in the story).

The view of Jesus’ conception espoused here has not only biblical resonance in terms of so much else in the record (just think of all the unlikely people God chooses to work through), but also undermines the sex negativity inherent in the texts we have received.

The church and indeed most of us as Christians have been influenced more by Platonisn–with its severe split between body and spirit–than by the earthiness of the Bible, the union of body and spirit that happens over and over again. This influence was enhanced by the account of Jesus’ conception.

shame-on-you cherispeak wordpress com

Jesus and sex are kept a safe distance apart from conception to death–no sex between his parents leading to his birth, no hint of sex by him during his life, and a chaste cloth to cover his genitals on the cross. Nobody ever said this to me, but I imagine some priests or parents, or both, have told pubescent boys, “You mustn’t masturbate, Jesus didn’t, you know. He doesn’t want you doing it either.You must be pure like him.” Of course, that would involve those adults admitting (at least to themselves) that Jesus had “one of those things.”

jesus-feet-walking  umcholiness wordpress com

Of course, this is my opinion. Biblical literalists will throw every text they can at me from the Gospels to prove me wrong. Many of them will even most likely tell me I am not a Christian (the good news is that not many such people read my writing).

But I know I love, and I do my best to follow, Jesus–the flesh and blood, fully embodied, incarnate, Jesus who walked the earth, taught, healed, loved, ate, peed and defecated, sweated, cried, wiped and maybe even picked his nose, and, I believe, had sex (as did his parents).

My Messiah was a real man, and his mother and father were real human beings, too.

Praise God!







2 thoughts on “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph: The Real Story?”

  1. Can’t say I’m with you on this one, I’ll have to politely disagree with the premise of your assertions.

    I’m confident that Jesus didn’t masturbate, as that would mean He succumbed to lust, which would void the very concept of Jesus being the only perfect person to traverse the earth. If Jesus did have sex, which is completely plausible, I’m confident that it was in the context of marriage (after all, sex with a spouse does glorify God).

    The commentary about Jesus being born through natural conception, I’m sorry to say, is nothing greater than pure speculation, and it isn’t enough to convince me to disregard the authority of the Bible’s commentary here. I’ll admit that I don’t literally believe everything the Bible says, i.e. that people lived for hundreds and thousands of years, but the idea of Jesus’ immaculate conception seems straightforward and basic.

    I don’t agree that the teachings of immaculate conception undermine the necessary mentality to a healthy sex life. Based on my knowledge and understanding of the Bible (which is CLEARLY inferior to yours), sex is a celebrated part of marriage, and when done within the context of marriage, as I said earlier, it’s an act of worship to God. As a Christian, I in no way feel biblically discouraged from frequent sex with my wife.

    So all this said, a well-written piece, but for me personally, with where I am in my journey of faith, it’s not convincing. I appreciate the courage it takes to explore this particular question, but from a critical perspective, the case seems to merely promote speculation in order to justify (what is otherwise a healthy) preconceived agenda.

    1. My friend, as always, I appreciate your authenticity and directness. I wish more people would do this.
      That said, I don’t share your view of masturbation. I think God gave us masturbation for pleasure. It need not be done with porn or any other thing. It can be done with one’s partner or alone or with others. It can be done when lonely, perhaps missing one’s partner/spouse. I also don’t think sex with someone other than a spouse dishonors God–unless of course it is done with violence or non-consenually or is in any way hurtful to another (including dishonestly when one hides it from a partner who does not approve or know). Then, I do not think it sex as much as rape or violation or hurt. But I think joyful sharing of bodies can very much be glorifying the God who gives us the sexuality and feelings and bodies to begin with.
      You are right about my thoughts being speculation. I said so. I have no proof, and although I treasure the Bible I know it to be written by humans and therefore it is always possible that it is wrong.
      I am glad you do not feel burdened by the Bible about sex with your wife. Hallelujah! Glad for both of you. But I was raised to understand that sex was at best a necessary and suspect activity, frowned upon by God except when the church approved. That included of course those not heterosexual. When I came out as gay, after years of marriage and struggling to be other than myself, I realized (in part because of many friends (Christians all) who suddenly discovered what a bad person I was). Over the years as a pastor, I have encountered many persons who feel let down by teaching about the Bible that caused them to feel sexual shame. I am not saying that the Bible is so much anti-sex as what Christianity has done with the Bible. And of course, there was lots of sex in the Bible, and some of it hardly meets the one man-one woman standard set by so many today.
      So let’s keep in dialogue. I am more grateful to you for writing than perhaps you can understand. It feels good to be taken seriously enough by a thoughtful, intelligent, caring man for him to write. Thank you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *